Preventive Measures

I’ve got something big on my mind.

It’s something that I need to sort out and take action on, but is also something that doesn’t make any sense to me at all.  As an infertile, this subject is feeling taboo in my heart even though my head KNOWS it has to be tackled and tackled soon.

At my 6 week check after Gemma’s delivery, my gynae asked the age-old question that they ask of everyone at that appointment… “so what are we going to do about birth control?”  BIRTH CONTROL???  Holy smokes!  As someone who spent the greater part of her marriage TRYING to get pregnant, having to actively think about PREVENTING a pregnancy is just plain weird.  We discussed some options.  I left the office armed with wads of information on the mirena, mulling about vasectomy and a prescription for the mini pill as I was still breast-feeding.  I took that months worth of the mini pill, have stopped breastfeeding and am absolutely NO CLOSER to figuring out what course of action we are going to pursue to prevent another pregnancy.

We (and I mean Cliff) are sure that we (again I mean Cliff) don’t want anymore children.  We (and I mean both of us) are so absolutely grateful to have the two (TWO!!!!) children that we have been blessed with and want to give them everything we possibly can in life.  Another baby would seriously hamper our ability to give the two kids we have everything that we want to.  Our house is perfect for a family of four. Having that become a family of five would mean more renovations or another house… which is not really part of our plan.


I just cannot wrap my head around actively preventing a pregnancy.  Not when so much of my life has been obsessed focused on achieving it.  The fact of the matter is that as much as I still think of myself as someone who is unable to conceive from having sex, the fact is that I can.  I did Twice.  So now I have to force myself so see myself as something that for so long I was not.  Fertile.  Able to conceive.  Not wanting an unplanned pregnancy…

My first instinct is to tell Cliff to get a vasectomy (he is willing).  But it seems so PERMANENT.  What if we find ourselves in a different place in a few years and want a third child (I always wanted three kids growing up)?  What if God forbid something happens to me and he remarries and his new wife wants a child with him?    What if?

The mirena sounds like a viable option too but it’s expensive to get placed (and not covered by medical aid, surprise surprise) and I’ve read that it doesn’t always agree with everyone who gets it.

I have to tell you, it’s kind of freaking me out.

So.  If you’re willing please share your experiences of preventive measures with me.  What works?  What doesn’t?

16 thoughts on “Preventive Measures

  1. I have a mirena. My 2nd one. We are happy with 2 and at 43 I cannot imagine going down the whole baby road again. A vasectomy is very permanent, I think, for exactly the reasons u mentioned. The mirena suits us (me) as I no longer have a period and I seem to be rid of the whole monthly lunatic woman thing. Yes, it is expensive but it does last 5 years. So pretend it’s an item of clothing and work out how many ‘wears’ you’ll get out of it to see if it is worth it!

    Having said all that I do completely understand what u are saying. But I don’t have an answer xx

  2. Oh the irony! Well I am a mirena failure despite being warned by my gynea – I looked like a hormonal teenager and felt even worse. Have been on Yaz for years – have maybe a day period ever 2 months or so. And keeps me almost without PMS.

  3. I’ve had to google mirena to be able to give an opinion… and am horrified that a few of the top search results deal with law suits.
    That being said, I have friends who are very pro IUD’s. Their reasons are because the Pill doesn’t agree with them.
    I have always been on Yasmin, which suited me perfectly, but my first gynae once told me that my future husband was a very lucky man, which I can only take to be that I had a healthy source of eggs, and uterus.
    However, 2 years ago, I blamed my low sex drive on the Pill, so my hubby offered to have a vasectomy. (Go figure…). I have been off the Pill since, but my moods swing, I suffer from cramps more than I used to, and still have low sex drive, so clearly that was not the solution.
    Our hospital plan paid for hubby to have the snip.
    It is reversible, but medical aid would not cover the reversal.

    Perhaps consult your gynae agsin, and find out which would be best for you to keep endometriosis away, if thst is still a concern(?), a mini pill to perhaps balance your hormones, or the non chemical solution-IUD- to allow a perfectly chemicsl free system.


  4. Well you know my factory has been closed but then its a different scenario. No pill has worked for me – EVER! They make me mental and I am not a fan of having things in me so for me this was the best option BUT I know it is not an option for you. Also David is younger than me so a little young still to be snipped because you never know where life will take him.

    Honestly if Cliff is willing then I would go that route.

  5. I’ve had Mirena for like a month now. I’m a fan of not having a period for 5 years. I bled for a couple weeks which the internet says is common. I have to go back in and have the string shortened because my husband can feel it. It’s tough. More kids would be INSANE. Honestly, if he had a vasectomy my period was so irregular I would probably be charting to know when it was coming. No period is WAY better and I figure let’s do this for 5 years and then see what happens. There is the copper one but I heard it makes your period longer. No thanks.

  6. I don’t like IUDs because fertilisation can still occur but because the lining is thinner, etc, you then miscarry. It feels too much like messing around with things we were trying to get right for so long.

    I use the patch (Evra) and it’s really good. One month I forgot to put Wk 1 on for a few days and I had terrible headaches. Now I have it diarised and in my phone 🙂 Mine is mainly for my endo…..because that is actually debilitating and quick-growing 🙁

  7. Was very happy with my Mirena & know lots of people who are. Work out the cost of pills & tampons over 5 years 😉

  8. As you know, I am not an expert in birth control. I have no Fallopian tubes and my B has had a vasectomy. But I will tell you what I know, firstly any internal protection is prone to infection. I personally would not want something foreign in my body. With infections it could damage your internal female organs. I am not a big fan on vasectomies if you have any “maybe”s. As much as a vasectomy can be reversed, it is expensive to reverse and not guaranteed. We were quoted R 35000 to reverse brad vasectomy 5 years ago. Maybe, go on the pill/patch/injection until you are 100% sure

  9. I satrted using the nuva.ring. My gynae said he wouldn’t prescribe the (or the copper version) to me even if I was his enemy because of my history with fibroids!!! I wanted something long term that I don’t have to worry about every day, pills are not an option for me. I prefer injections to meds anyday, but I am prone to migraines (which kind of ruled out the injection since it is a well known common side effect). With the nuva.ring you insert and leave for 3 weeks and take it out for one month. Seems much easier than a daily pill. In the past when I used pills, I used yas.min and it was perfectly ok, but for many years I have not had to worry about using anything…

    While you decide you could use a barrier method (I am not a fan of anything permanent like a snip for either male or female if there is no life threatening reason for it)

  10. We are at this juncture in our lives too. The pill makes me crazy (like hurt people crazy) and although I wouldn’t mind Seth having the snip, I don’t want the poor dude to have to go through a reversal if we do decide to have another.

    We are doing the good old fashioned rubber route (have been for 3/4 years) and it’s been going pretty well (we planned to have Knox 😉 )

  11. Oh the irony!!
    After 5 years on the injection which worked REALLY well for me, none of the crazy side effects that others complain about, I moved onto the pill which made me feel like a crazy person. Last month I changed up my pill and the one I’m on now is not too bad and way cheaper.. Ginette or something like that. x

  12. Due to tube loss I have the Mirena now to stop my periods. Its heaven It is expensive but over 5 years it not, my pads and tampons would have cost much more due to heavy periods. Now its just a bliss

  13. Well since the twins we are living contraception free, but in the days before we realised that when they told Chris he could not have kids they really meant it, I tried a few options. The pill drives me nuts, makes me depressed and definitely kills my sex drive. I had a Mirena which was FABULOUS! I cannot tell you how amazing it is to have no period and I had no other side effects, although in hind sight I think it may have not been great for the sex drive? A vasectomy is just not something we have ever considered, but have too many friends who wanted it reversed that I just don’t think I would personally go for it.

    Good Luck that’s all I can offer.
    PS we only live contraception free because we know without any shadow of a doubt that we have 0 sperm and Chris’ hormone injections will keep it that way.

  14. Sjoe. Isn’t it ironic??
    I have used just about every kind of birth control imaginable except the ring. I am sensitive to hormones so after years of being on injections and pills and patches I now use an IUD – the copper one. I love it and don’t even know that it’s there. It’s time for it to come out and I’ll probably have a new one put in. I do actually want to have my tubes tied so that’s my first choice. I had a gynae appointment last month and cancelled at the last minute because I couldn’t get off work. Unfortunately there are pros and cons to everything so you may have to go through a bit of trial and error while you find something that works for you.
    Good luck.

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